Love the intern emotional struggle here. It's well written, and flowed nicely! Great snip! :DPS WELCOME to Tuesday Teasers!! :D
Gorgeous writing! Wow, I'm impressed.The pacing is intense and kept me reading!Instead of "seemed to shoot" I would just put "Shot through me":)I hope you post more because I want to know what happened!
I really love their interaction. Her internal dialogue is perfect and interesting.
the internal dialogue here is great...very real and believable.
Beautiful description in this teaser
Nice, Suzanne! I love the flow and the feeling that we're right inside her head. Very believable.
Nice job amping up the conflict!
Loved the descriptions and the whole of the emotions. This line made me smile: Or maybe the changes just hadn't caught up with me yet.Don't we all feel like that sometimes?
Overwhelming, overpowering. Nice.I'm not the biggest romance fan, but by the end... well damn. ;)
A lot of emotion here, powerful emotion. Deep, sensual and frustrating. Awesome :D
Nice. This is good. A little too romance for me, but still great
I liked it! Your writing was very dreamy. (I don't know if that made sense.) I thought you said "eyes" a lot, but I still got into the scene. Thanatos, cool name! And a daemon of death? REALLY cool! Welcome to Teaser Tuesday, by the way! Hope to see more from you. :)
the protagonist is intriguing but I'm concerned that there is a bit too much internal thought as opposed to external action? More action and movement will pull your reader deeper into the story
I felt like shaking her by the shoulders and saying, "God Damn it, just KISS him already!" I loved this teaser, it was descriptive and sexy and I really loved how you sucked me in with anticipating, like, will they kiss or will they not? Great job, I was hanging on the edge of my seat! :D~Ella
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